Sex and Masturbation: The HANX Guide to Tooling Up for *That* Convo with Your Teen

The dreaded day has arrived. One minute they're your sweet little cherub, the next they've morphed into a hormonal teenage tornado of feelings, urges, and questions galore. Yes, it’s time for *the* talk. It might feel cringeworthy, but chatting openly with your teen about the birds, the bees, the hand buzzies, and every other juicy aspect of sexuality is absolutely vital to helping shape a positive perspective on sex, dating and relationships.

HANX provides sustainable products for the bedroom along with sex-positive advice via their website. Together, The Mix and HANX aim to crush those myths and beat off that negativity when it comes to all things sex.

Luckily, things have moved on quite a bit since our own blush-worthy experiences of the talk. Gone are the days of cringey books with awkward illustrations of what happens when “mummy and daddy love each other very much”. In fact, the conversation these days is far more expansive, interesting and down-to-earth than ever before, for everyone involved. 

From consent to self-image to gender identity, there’s so much more to chat about than just penetrative sex and whacking on a condom.  

Destigmatizing self-love and getting cliterate from an early age? It’s what HANX does best. So, perk up those ears and buckle in, parents! We’ve got some A+ tips on tooling up for the big sex and masturbation convos with your teen.

Set the vibes right from the start  

Aim for these chats to happen regularly, not as a dreaded single “lecture.” Make it a relaxed, judgement-free zone where no question is off-limits. 

Creating an environment of openness and safety is half the battle when it comes to reassuring your teen that talking about sex isn’t taboo. Think about how best to create a safe space for the conversation.  

• Pop on some chill tunes 
• Grab their fave snacks 
• Get into a cosy setting 

Some parents even find it helpful to hold time each week over dinner for a relaxed, open discussion. By creating this environment, you’re normalising sex as a topic, and encouraging your teen to feel able to bring up topics that concern or interest them. 

Use actual names for body parts  

No more beating around the bush (literally) with cutesy code names. Using proper anatomical terms for genitals, pleasure zones, and bodily functions shows there’s nothing to be ashamed about.  

If they know the names for their Vulva, Labia, Vagina or Penis, it sets them up to confidently advocate for themselves in various settings: with healthcare professionals, should they ever notice something is different, or with a partner, when communicating their desires and boundaries.

Reframe “self-exploration”  

Puberty is a time of hormonal flux and deep feelings. Self-pleasure is wrongly stigmatised as being dirty or wrong, rather than part of a normal and healthy sex life.  

Whilst attitudes might have been different during your own upbringing, it’s important to normalise self-love and self-exploration as a great way of discovering what feels good.  

Ensure your teen doesn’t feel judged for taking time for themselves and if you feel comfortable, chatting about the world of toys. Contrary to stereotypes, gigantic purple dildos aren’t the only way – our cute, non-penetrative Cindy vibe could be a great starter toy!  

Remember to also emphasise the importance of boundaries on both sides. For you, if their bedroom door is shut, give them a bit of space or knock and wait before popping your head in. Similarly, they need to know when is and isn’t appropriate to enjoy some solo time, too!

Reach for digital backup 

It might seem intimidating, but there are so many brilliant resources to help you in your quest to be supportive. Multimedia learning is key for Gen Z. Whilst there is a lot of misinformation on social media, there are lots of brilliant, trustworthy online guides, educators and communities that approach sexuality with body-positive, pleasure-forward realness.  

If you’re new to the world of social media sex education, we suggest trying: 

• @emmcheeky 
• @itsmillyevans 
• @sexedfiles 
• @scottyunfamous 
• @s3xtheorywithDee

Don’t forget protection!  

Of course, any good sex talk must cover protection. Whether they should be looking at preventing pregnancy and/or STIs, it’s key to take champion proactive condom use.  

Whilst some teens can access condoms and sexual wellness supplies in PSE classes or from college services, it’s not always widespread – and many of these options contain harsh chemicals, spermicides or tingling gels which can cause irritation or even UTIs.  

The solution? Make sure they know pleasure and safety can (and should!) go hand-in-hand. 

Try creating a free-for-all condom treasure chest at home, which they know they can always go to when they need a johnny. It might seem over the top, but we’ve found that over 50% of daters have had unprotected sex because they didn’t want to bring up condom use before getting it on. Not on our watch! 

Keep that flow going 

These conversations shouldn’t be a one-and-done deal.  

Sexuality is an ongoing journey of discovery, so keep those dialogue doors open. Let your teen know you’re a trusted source they can circle back to as new questions, situations or discoveries arise.  

Chances are, they’ll start opening up more over time – and you might just learn something, too.  

Head to HANX’s Naked Truths for medically-backed, stigma-free chat for every life stage.