On off relationship advice

Getting your head around an on off relationship

First you’re together, then you’re not. Hang on…now you’re together again. On and off relationships can really mess with your head. Whilst it’s normal to have ups and downs in a relationship, constantly breaking up only to get back together again is never gonna work long term. A member of our community recently got in touch for help breaking the cycle of their on off relationship. Read our response below.

Dealing with an on and off relationship head on

The thing about relationships is that they’re easy enough to start, but incredibly tough to finish. It’s pretty clear that you two still have strong feelings for each other, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re good for each other. So it’s probably better to try and deal with this situation head on and focus on breaking the cycle. That being said, if you’re still trying to decide if you should break up, this article might help.

How to move on from an on off relationship

If you really wanna move on then you should try to remind yourself of the reasons why you decided to split. If necessary, talk to your ex about the situation. Have open communication and come to a mutual agreement that there’ll be no backsliding by either party this time. 

After that, you’ll need to create some physical space to help get your emotions in order. If this means not seeing each other, even as mates, then make that decision together. To have some support during this time, make sure you surround yourself with friends and family. Let them help you get over the end of the relationship. Speaking of support, we’ve also got a whole article about accepting it’s over, which might help.

Ending a relationship is similar to grieving

Ending a relationship can feel a lot like grieving for something you’ve lost. Honestly, this is a healthy response to the loss of such an important part of your life. Single life can be a huge adjustment after spending so much time as half of a couple. Although the heart break after a break up can seem unbearable, it should pass.

In the meantime, make an effort to get back in touch with life outside the relationship. Trust us, you’ll eventually look back at your time with him with fond memories. But for now you need to keep your distance – which involves cutting communication. If a friendship happens down the road, make sure it’s organically and that none of you have any residual feelings.

Getting back to single life

Whilst single life might be a bit daunting at first, it’ll soon feel good. You’ll probably be much better off after you finally stop trying to make your on off relationship work. It’ll give you time to consider what type of relationship you really want (probably not long distance). Plus, you’ll come to realise that you’re perfectly capable of feeling good without your ex. 

We’ve got a tonne of articles to help you make the most of single life and dating right here on The Mix, why not have a read of those when you feel ready?