Premature ejaculation

How avoid premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is a common problem for men, most will suffer from it at some point in their lives, but in many cases it doesn’t, ahem, last long. If you’re worried about coming too soon and it’s affecting your sex life, take a look at these coping strategies and tips on how to last longer.

Define premature ejaculation

How do you define premature ejaculation? Essentially, it refers to coming too soon. Why is this a problem? When a man ‘comes’ too soon, or ‘climaxes’ too quickly, it may end sex prematurely, before both partners have had chance to really feel fulfilled. Some experts define premature ejaculation as an ejaculation within two minutes of initiating penatrative sex. Others define it within the context of a sexual relationship, when a persistently early finish causes problems between partners.

What causes premature ejaculation?

Anxiety, stress and abstinence from sex can all play a part. It isn’t uncommon for men to suffer from ‘performance anxiety’, especially at the start of a relationship when the desire to please is often at its greatest. Need some advice for sex with a new partner? Try this article.

In most cases, learning to recognise and control the sensations in the penis will slow things down, and communicating with your partner about what is worrying you is also key. Once you’ve got your concerns out in the open, you can both set about putting them right. Which means one thing: practise!

How avoid premature ejaculation

• A sex ban: Foreplay with a ban on sex can help reduce anxiety and ultimately delay orgasm.
• Distraction: Mild cases of premature ejaculation can often be solved by learning the art of distraction. This involves turning your mind to something else when you feel you are getting close to climax.
• The stop-start technique: An exercise practised during manual stimulation and other sexual experiences, which basically involves slowing down or holding off just before ejaculation. This allows the level of arousal to subside, giving more pre-climax control, and delaying ejaculation.
• The Squeeze Technique, AKA the Masters-Johnson method: A ‘penis-grip’ technique developed by therapists of the same names. By learning a special finger grip that stops the urge to climax, it’s often possible to re-train a man to last much longer. It’s possible to master the technique with a willing partner but it’s best if you both learn it properly with a trained doctor, psychotherapist or counsellor.

Other ways to delay premature ejaculation:

So, you’ve talked about the problem and none of the above techniques stop you coming too soon. Don’t panic – there are still options:

• Sex after ejaculation: Having ejaculated once, either by masturbation or during sex, men generally take longer to achieve arousal and climax again.
• Thicker condoms: Can reduce the intensity of arousal leading up to climax.
• Psychosexual counselling: If premature ejaculation continues to be a problem, talking things through with a counsellor could help. Find someone suitable through Relate or the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists
• Lessen your expectations: Many men buy into the sex myth that they should be in control. This can lead to a great deal of anxiety, which is linked to premature ejaculation. Recognising that both partners play an equal part will take the focus off the need to ‘perform’ and help you to relax.