Premature ejactulation: How to not cum fast

Almost all people with penises experience premature ejaculation from time to time. Sometimes your mate downstairs just has a mind of its own. But it’s not usually a long term problem and there are several things you can do if you’re worried about it. A member of our community recently got in touch with The Mix asking us how to not cum so quickly and why it might be happening to them. Read our response below to find out what we had to say.

Why do I cum so quickly?

“Does masturbation lead to premature ejaculation? I’m worried I suffer from this, and will do the same thing during sexual intercourse. Can creams or medicines cure me? If I stop masturbating will my ejaculation time increase? Also, is there an extra skin layer on top of the penis that makes it sensitive? If I stop, will my penis skin get thicker so I’m not so sensitive?”

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculating sooner than you or your partner wishes. This means that you may have premature ejaculation if you don’t feel happy about ejaculating when you do.

To reassure you, it is one of the most common sexual problems affecting men. Most men will experience premature ejaculation at some point in their life. It can have physical or psychological causes, with stress and anxiety being common factors.

Coming too quickly is common in younger men

Premature ejaculation can be caused by being very sexually excited, which is quite common in younger men because they are becoming interested in sex and relationships during puberty, and exploring their bodies for the first time. Find out more about premature ejaculation in this article.

Stopping masturbating may not help

Stopping masturbation might not be helpful, because this could lead to a build up of sexual tension and may cause you to ejaculate more quickly when you do something sexual. This is because the more excited you are, the easier it is to ejaculate quickly.

There isn’t an extra layer of skin on the penis that gets thinner or thicker depending on how much you masturbate. The penis is sensitive because it has hundreds of nerve endings in it, particularly in the head of the penis. How much you masturbate doesn’t affect the nerve endings.

Many men can be helped to stop ejaculating prematurely, using self-help methods, but some may require the help of an expert practitioner.

How to not cum so quickly

You may want to try a simple self-help method that can be effective, called the stop/start technique. This can be done either by the man alone or with his partner, whichever is preferable.

Step 1: Gradually start stimulation of the penis, stopping just before you think you are about to ejaculate.

Step 2: Rest, no stimulation for 30-60 seconds.

Step 3: Begin stimulation of the penis again, stopping or reducing stimulation until the probability of ejaculation has passed.

Step 4: Repeat above steps four or five times, until you begin to recognise the point of ejaculation. Allow ejaculation to occur.

There is also the squeeze technique, or the Masters-Johnson method, which we talk about in this article.

More information is available about male sexual difficulties from NetDoctor, including self-help and treatment. You can also visit your local Brook Centre and have a confidential chat with a counsellor or see a doctor there, or you can visit their digital tool, Ask Brook. You can also post anonymously on our Discussion Boards and get support from our community.

Answered by Brook on 18-Jul-2012