Clitoris confidence

Swot up on what the clitoris is, where it is, and - most importantly - what to do when you find it.

Artist's representation of finding your clitoris.

What is a clitoris?

The female clitoris is that highly sensitive and much sought-after erectile sex organ. Like the penis, the clitoris is packed with nerve endings and serves as the focus of stimulation for women, often resulting in orgasm.

Where the heck is it?

Located at the top of the vaginal lips, and surrounded by the folds of the labia, the clitoris is that small, pea-shaped bump – though size and shape may vary. A fleshy hood protects the clitoris, and this retracts when the woman is sexually aroused.

How does the clit work?

What you can feel (whether it’s yours or your partner’s) is effectively the head of the clitoris. This connects to a system of erectile tissue that has a big influence on the female genitals. When sexually aroused, it fills with blood and becomes much more sensitive – in a similar way to the male penis.

What do I do with it once I’ve found it?

The clitoris is very sensitive. It can respond to being touched, rubbed, licked, sucked, or through pressure from a vibrator or penis during intercourse. For some women, it can be so sensitive that direct stimulation is just too painful. We’re all turned on in different ways, after all, so if you’re unsure what floats her boat then ask! If you’re comfortable with your partner, and feel able to discuss such an intimate subject, she can only respect you for finding out how she likes her clit to be handled. With help, respect and experience, you’ll soon find your way.

Photo of happy girl from Shutterstock