How to stay safe over Christmas as a young LGBTQ+ person

A guide to staying safe over Christmas as a young LGBTQ+ person

If you’re worried about how your friends and family might react to your gender or your sexuality while you’re at home, then Christmas isn’t always the most relaxing time. It can be stressful if you’re trying to hide your identity, or if you’re trying to have a conversation about your identity with someone close to you.

If you’re finding things tough, know that you’re not alone and we’re here to help. We spoke to The Proud Trust, who gave us their expert advice on how to stay safe during the holidays.

Why might the festive season be difficult for you as an LGBTQ+ person?

• You might not be out to your family yet so Christmas can feel like an overwhelming time, trying to make sure people don’t find out and living a ‘double life’ can be confusing and stressful.
• You might be coming back from university, where you feel safe, to a place where you feel like you can’t really be yourself.
• You might not have a home over the holidays, or throughout the year.
• You might get gender-specific cards and presents which don’t relate to how you identify.
• You might not want to bring your partner home because you worry your family might not accept them or approve.
• Some LGBTQ+ groups are closed over the festive season which means it’s harder to seek support.
• LGBTQ+ community spaces may be closed over the festive season, making it difficult to connect to your community.
• Christmas is an expensive time of year, so you might be worried about money.
• The festive season can be very isolating, despite being around lots of people.

How can you take care of yourself over the holiday?

Make some time for yourself and practice self-kindness:

• You could try doing something creative like drawing or painting
• You could take a long bath
• You could read or listen to your favourite music or podcast
• You could go for a walk (try to find some green space as it can be soothing to be near nature)
• Take a nap if things feel too overwhelming

Remember that you’re not alone in feeling like this – try to stay in touch with people you trust and feel comfortable with.

Make a plan of what to do if you start to notice you’re not feeling great. This could include doing things that make you feel yourself or to talk it through with someone. This could be a friend, sibling or you can chat to one of the LGBTQ+ youth workers on Proud Connections Live Chat.

If you’re feeling like you need some urgent help or are in crisis, you can get in touch with any of these organisations:

• You can contact The Mix’s team at any time and speak to someone for non-judgemental support and information.
• Contact the Samaritans for free via mobile or landline on 116 123.
• Call Childline on 0800 111, for free on most landlines and mobile contracts (and won’t show up on bills).
• Contact Mindline Trans+ on 0300 3305468 (Mon-Fri from 8pm-midnight)
• Read our guide to coping with lockdown as a young LGBTQIA+ person

If you’re struggling with your finances at Christmas

• Try making your own presents to save money.
• Head to The Mix’s money hub for support and information on managing your finances.

Coming out at Christmas

You may want to use the holidays as an opportunity to come out to family. Be sure to do this when you feel ready and have prepared for all potential outcomes. There is no “correct way” to come out and it can feel overwhelming, so you should only do it when you’re ready and in a way that you feel comfortable with. You could:

• Write a letter or an email.
• Have a conversation with the person you’re closest to first.

If you need any further support

Read Emmanuela’s story about coming out to her family during lockdown.

Read our interview with Switchboard LGBT Helpline for advice on exploring your sexuality and dealing with homophobia.

Read Aimee’s guide to coping over Christmas as a young LGBTQ+ person.

GBT Hero offers hangouts for anyone aged 18+ who identifies as LGBTQ+.

The Mix would like to thank The Proud Trust for their help with this article.