How to combat transphobia

The world is gradually becoming a more accepting place, but sadly, there are still some people who aren’t willing to accept the trans community and who sometimes express this through violence and hate speech. Unfortunately, the trans community has had to deal with a lot of transphobia throughout history. The Mix is here to help with that.

What is transphobia?

Let’s start off with some foundational questions – What is transphobia? And what does transphobic mean? 

Transphobia is a term used to describe prejudice against people who don’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, also known as transgender, or non-binary people. This can include nasty comments and actions, either online or in person, that harm trans people. Transphobia is a way of classifying this type of person and/or behaviour. Sadly, if you’re transgender, this might sound familiar. It may even be affecting your mental health or make it harder to come out.

Going through the process of gender recognition, which may include updating your birth certificate, and having your transgender identity validated in whatever way you need will hopefully be a liberating moment for any transgender person. Suffering from gender dysphoria can often feel suffocating and having to deal with the hate after finally being able to alleviate some of that inner turmoil can be overwhelming.

We want you to know that you have the right to be accepted for who you are without being bullied or abused. If you need support, please reach out to our support services, who are there to talk about any and every issue. You can also get in touch with the experts at Gendered Intelligence, who have a support line you can contact.

We are often taught to believe that the gender binary, aka being born either a man or a women, is the only way to understand gender, but this is not the case – there’s a whole spectrum of different gender identities and each is equally as valid. Read our article on being young and trans to find out more.

Why are people transphobic?

People are often scared of what they don’t understand and in response, they turn to bullying or abusive behaviour. Sadly, this is often directed at members of the LGBTQ+ community – especially trans people.

Transphobia can develop in society due to misinformation (often spread via the media), certain interpretations of religion, or the desire to hold on to the concept of the male/female gender binary. The existence of trans and non-binary people makes it more difficult to keep believing that gender is a fixed thing, and this can be a scary or threatening concept for some.

For this reason, transphobia often goes hand in hand with misogyny, as both can be a reaction to anything that threatens traditional masculinity and its power. But we understand that knowing all this doesn’t make the comments or actions of those who are transphobic any less painful. 

Whether you’re experiencing pointed comments from your family, or you’ve been stopped from going to the right loo, it can feel like transphobia is everywhere. Forms of transphobia include:

• Physical or sexual violence.
• Threats, mean comments and name calling.
• Misgendering you on purpose. This means, for example, intentionally using the male pronoun ‘he’ when speaking to a trans woman with the intent of upsetting that person. 
• Ignoring you or excluding you. Whether it’s at school, in the workplace, or at home, if people are intentionally leaving you out because of your gender identity,  it’s transphobia.

How to combat transphobia online

There will always be people who get a thrill from hurting others and these people feel most at home behind a laptop screen. The key is to see it as THEIR issue, but we recognise that that doesn’t take the pain away. If you’re experiencing transphobic abuse online, try the following:

• Create a positive, online environment by blocking negative people or accounts. Instead, try following empowering accounts. This should fill your feeds with uplifting content.
• Try not to react. When we read something offensive, our immediate reaction is to hurl abuse right back at that person. But it’s best not to engage – knowing they’ve upset or angered you is exactly what they want, so don’t give them that satisfaction.
• Report transphobic behaviour online. Crimes motivated by transphobia are hate crimes and you have a right to report them. For more advice, read Childline’s guide on how to report abuse on social media. 

How to deal with transphobic family or friends 

It can be really hurtful if the people closest to you don’t understand you. But remember, this is your life and it’s important to live it authentically. Don’t let the attitudes of a family member or a ‘friend’ stop you from being who you truly are. Easier said than done, we know – so here are a few tips to help you out:

• Put yourself first. If it no longer feels safe to be at home because of your family’s transphobic attitude, it’s important you seek the support you deserve. Organisations such as Galop and the Albert Kennedy Trust can provide advice in this situation. In extreme cases, where you feel at immediate risk, dial 999.    
• Try educating them. For parents or friends with no knowledge of the trans community, it can feel quite overwhelming. Oftentimes, they’ve grown up believing that men and women play certain roles and can’t challenge these binaries. That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless though, as long as they’re willing to put in the work. Suggest books, documentaries and websites which you think might help them understand.  
• Create your own support network by surrounding yourself with people who understand you. That could be people at school or work, teachers, or friends you’ve met online. These people will raise you up even if others don’t. If you need help making friends online, then click here!
• If you’re scared to come out because of transphobic attitudes, try reading our article on coming out as trans for some tips.
• Boost your self-esteem. Try doing things that make you feel good, such as running, dancing or whatever you enjoy. The better you feel about yourself, the more you’ll be able to focus on living your best life.

Check out our article on how to be trans ally.

Support for dealing with transphobia

• If you’re under 19, organisations like Childline are a fantastic place to find expert support. Either call their helpline or use webchat to talk about your experience of transphobia or any other issue.
• Join a support group in your area. Trans Unite will show you where your nearest support group is. You’ll also get to meet some new people.

If you feel unsafe in a public space or someone has committed a hate crime against you, you can call the police on 101 (or 999 in an emergency)

Read this guide from the experts at Gendered Intelligence on how to be a trans ally.