Who’s in your circle?

Does your circle of mates include any of the following? We'd bet it does...

Can you guess who's who?

• The listener: Sorting you and your dilemmas out, this mate is always there when you need them with open ears and proffered shoulder. However they’re also fairly decent company, so don’t show up only when you need a moan, or they may just get sick of you.
• The party animal: Eccentric and mad-for-it, this mate is on every guest list and appears to party for a living and you marvel that they are still alive. They are great for wild nights out, lifting your spirits and generally having a wicked time, however unless you join the party you’ll never see them.
• The drama queen: Hurtling from one trauma to another, they make their life sound like a soap opera – while they are great for entertainment value, staying up all night bitching and backstabbing, beware of exhausting yourself by living through part of their hectic schedule.
• The opposite sex: Can men and women be friends? Who knows but while you’re trying not to fall into bed with each other, they can be great for chilling with, getting relationship advice from another perspective, big hugs, and laughs aplenty.
• The preoccupied soul mate: Once inseparable, now you’re lucky to grab lunch twice a year but the connection is still there and you pick up where you left off with ease, talking nine to the dozen to catch up on each other’s gossip. You soon fall back into your old ways as if you’ve never been apart. A good friend to keep, plus you can offload all those sordid secrets that no one else knows about.
• The older mate: We’re talking mortgaged not moth-balled, and watch out as they’ll probably out-party you. They are fantastic for ‘been there, done that’ advice (if sometimes a little jaded/ cynical) and nights down the local where they are able to pay for most of the rounds, and win the pub quiz. Prepare to see less of them when they start popping sprogs and acquiring a nasty fascination with mortgages.
• The long-standing best mate: They know you inside out, and have stuck by you through the good times and the bad, and were you a couple, you’d be at pipe and slippers stage. They are great for reminiscing, putting the world to rights in the early hours and just hanging out with, no strings. Don’t take each other for granted though, or allow the friendship to stagnate.
• The long term couple: Surrogate parents, they make sure you’re eating properly, and try to match-make you with all their other mates. Great for giving you plenty of TLC after a few too many mad weekends away. Notorious for moaning that you never visit enough, embarrassing you, and disliking your new partner.

Not-so-great mates

If you can spot a mate in the following line up, it’s time to review your relationship:

• The Freeloader: They’ll be there for you, so the song goes, and this friend certainly will. Especially if you’re the one with the means to having a good time. From food to drink or something for the weekend, as soon as you pat your pockets they really turn on the charm, and that’s how it’ll stay until you run dry. Try being ‘flat broke’ for a while, and see how they respond.
• The Patient: Everyone has problems in some shape or form, but this one likes to go public about the lot. There’s never a sunny smile here unless there’s a cloud behind it. Worse still, you hear them out, offer your advice, and then they just ignore it. Avoid asking how they are, then see how long they can go without talking about themselves.
• The Love Sub: As a free agent, this kind of friend is the very best. They’re always keen to get you out on the town, living life as it should be, until they get into a relationship. Then the dynamics change. They don’t ring. They don’t call. They don’t do nothing. Why not? Because they got what they want. A love life, at last. How about you, loser?
• The Shape Shifter: You couldn’t say anything wrong about this friend, even if you tried. They’ll do anything for you, from making you laugh to making up the numbers at a dinner party without once mentioning that you failed to invite them in the first place. But if they’re 100 per cent genuine, how come everyone has heard stories about you and the wet bed? Ask a trusted mate what really goes on when you leave the room.